#1 The client looked over the consultant’s proposal. “Well, this looks reasonable,” he conceded, “but I know that things are tight for you right now. What about I pay you half of what you’re offering? It’s better than nothing, right?”
#2 “What do you mean the plow won’t get here for two more hours?!” the planner bellowed. “I have a six people coming to a meeting in two hours. With the snow coming down like this, how do you expect people to get into the parking lot? Don’t you know I have a business to run?!”
#3 “Well, IGA has chairs,” the elderly customer huffed as she stormed out the door. For twenty minutes, the customer service rep had been listening sympathetically to the woman complain that the table and chairs had been removed from the grocery store’s coffee service area. The store had removed the table and chairs because (1) nobody sat there, (2) old people kept tripping over the chair legs, and (3) shoppers complained about having to maneuver their carts around the table.
When right ≠ right for you
Back in May, I talked about how the customer is always right about whether he’s happy or unhappy. It doesn’t mean that his happiness is justified or that his bad behavior is warranted. It also doesn’t mean that it’s your job to make him happy or to reactively “fix” whatever is making him unhappy.
Snow removal isn’t like lawn care. When the snows come, the snow falls everywhere around town, not just onto one important person’s driveway or parking lot. The snow plow literally cannot be everywhere at once. And, if it is to plow efficiently, it needs to plow along a sensible sequence, which means that everyone needs to wait her turn.
If a bunch of old ladies are tripping over chairs and one old lady complains when the chairs get taken away, it doesn’t mean that the store has to keep setting up and taking down chairs all the time. It has to think of the greater safety and convenience of the greatest number of shoppers. (And it also needs to think about its liability to lawsuits.)
Fire your bad customers
At the time that I write this, the U.S. economy is going through some tough times. Some of us are willing to take whatever kind of money anyone wants to give us. But there are customers whose business is not worth the money they’re giving you. I say: Fire ‘em.
The bully. Whatever prices you post, this customer will press you for special pricing. When he receives your invoice, he makes you eat a chunk of it. Even though he agreed to your terms, he pays late and always deducts the finance charge. His stance is that the product or service you sell isn’t worth what you say it is, that you are trying to cheat him, and that you are not in a relationship but a contest that he will pride himself on not letting you win. You are not a person to him; you are an enemy to conquer and enslave. If you were to assign a dollar figure to the amount of time you spend trying to fortify your margins against his assaults, which he euphemistically calls “negotiation,” you might find that he’s actually costing you money. He is beating up not only your bottom line, but also you and your staff. Fire him. Spend that time prospecting for a customer whose desires you can more happily and profitably fulfill.
The baby. Mine, mine, mine! Me, me, me! The baby is always pushing to the front of the line, has no patience, and lacks perspective. Her desires are always the biggest, the most urgent, and have the most exclamation points after them. She’s the one who, if she doesn’t get her way, threatens to take her business elsewhere and tell all her friends how much she hates you — or at least post bad reviews on Google Local and Yelp. Unfortunately, every attempt to make to calm her down or stem her tantrums merely postpones the inevitable. And, every customer whose desires you are setting aside while you’re trying to appease this customer, is a newly unhappy customer. This calls for a two-step solution. (1) Start asking your happy customers to post their happy reviews on Google Local and Yelp. (2) Fire the baby.
The ingrate. This is the client who has no idea how hard your job is or how hard you work for him. His fault-finding transcends mere criticism. He protests that such-and-so should have only have taken you one hour instead of three because all you were doing was [insert skill here] for crying out loud! I could have done that myself! he’ll remind you. I could get my nephew to do it in half the time and for free! Your enthusiastic response to the ingrate’s complaints should be, “That sounds like a terrific bargain! Do that!” Fired.
Moral: The customer is always right about how he feels, but he’s not always right about what you should do about it. You can fix a problem that was your fault, but you can’t turn an unreasonable person into a reasonable person.
Lesson: Is trying to keep your bad customers happy costing you money? If their unhappiness has nothing to do with what you’re doing and everything to do with what they’re doing, kick ‘em to the curb. Let the IGA down the street deal with them.
